As of last Thursday I am in fact divorced. My name was read out in court and in approximately 3-5 minutes (or so it said on the application, I wasn't actually there) my divorce was granted.
This marks the end of what has been a particularly challenging chapter of my life but it also signals the beginning of what I feel is going to be a very exciting time.
If you believe or know anything about Astrology, you might be familiar with "Saturn returns" it took me awhile to realise that I was being dealt a particularly difficult bout of Saturn returning however once I did I saw that light was at the end of the tunnel and true to form a little more than 2 years after the significant difficulties started, they ended. With divorce.
I'm not ashamed of the fact that I'm 28 and now divorced. Since I split with my husband (sorry now ex-husband) I have been quite open with friends and others about the status of my situation. For people who know me, they know I did not take the decision lightly and know that it took a lot of guts to cash in my chips and walk away.
To those who don't know me so well, I find it concerning that it could be easy for people to judge me and how I came to be a 20-something divorcée. Although divorce is common in today's society there can still be a stigma attached to it that implies you didn't "try hard enough" to fix what it was that was broken (especially for someone my age) or didn't "put enough thought into it" before you decided to put on the dress and go trotting up the aisle.
Both of these assumptions in my case and I'm sure in a lot of cases are incorrect. Please don't mistake my writing about this as me trying to justify my decisions to the wider public, I'm simply making an observation based on some reactions I've endured when telling people my marriage had faltered.
I was one of those people who only intended on getting married once. It took me awhile to get my head around the fact that my life might not turn out like that. I'm not bitter nor twisted but hopeful that I may still find someone that will be happy to spend their life with me and if I do find that person, I might get married again. I'm not opposed to the idea however I also don't spend my days thinking about what my (next) wedding will be like.
I used to think that love was enough, I've since realised that you need more than that. Loving someone involves putting yourself out there and taking a risk, and if I'm honest I'm glad I played my hand. Had I not, then I may still be single now wondering what would have happened if I hadn't followed my tall, dark and handsome home grown British boy back to the UK 3 years ago. I'm happy to say that I know what happened and although I didn't expect it to bring me here, I'm a more well rounded person for having been through it and I definitely don't have regrets.
Divorce is a process, something you go through. Whether you ever completely get over it, I'm not sure but the one thing I am certain of is you can't do it alone. I am very lucky to say I have an amazing array of friends who over the last 18 months, have scraped me off the floor and helped put me back together and for them I am eternally grateful. I also have one of the most supportive parents there are in my Mum, someone who has been a pillar of strength, who never forces opinion and who manages the balance of the parent/friend relationship better than anyone I know.
I look forward to this new "journey" (reality tv has really ruined the true meaning of that word hasn't it?!) ahead of me and hope you might have a giggle along the way with me.
xo
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